I’ve Been Neglecting you Horribly
This poor blog, it has fallen prey to the fate of many a cyber space journal, it has been sorely neglected. As I usually do, I would like to take this moment to say something about my mister, spurred by a few things.
First of all, my Gram passed away yesterday. This event has made the world look different to me. My Gram has always been, always. The earth feels strange without her, almost unfamiliar, she has always been here and even though we lived 500 miles apart the last several years that hasn’t mattered, knowing she existed was a comfort to me. So now, I’m a little lost, but comforted knowing that Gram loved Jesus and now loves Him more than ever. Now, my Gram was married to my Gramp for 57 years. Let me say that again fifty seven…fifty seven. My Gramp is not as comforted as I that Gram is with Jesus, he is now without the biggest part of his life. Since I saw him last nearly 2 weeks ago he hasn’t really stopped crying, knowing that he soon would be without Gram.
On the other end of the scale I have some friends who are getting married at the end of April and have been together a little over a year. Their love is fresh and tumultuous, easily upset but quickly forgiven. They both exhibit the tension of getting married in different ways but are simultaneously stressed and excited and neither can stop saying wonderful things about the other. They are new at this game. And it’s a wonderful mess.
Now, observing these 2 couples recently made me think about where we are. If the scale ranges from Seth and Reese to Gram and Gramp, we’d be considerably closer to Seth and Reese, but I feel more like Gram and Gramp.
Jesse always says he feels like we’ve been married forever. Our five year anniversary is in June but he always says that he won’t feel like we’ve been married for long until we hit 20 because to him 5, 10 and 15 are just implied. We just are.
I read this article the other day about brain chemistry in couples. It is generally accepted that after a period of time couples move from being madly in love to just being, but there are those that claim to still be madly in love years and even decades into their relationship. A study was done on a sample of these people and sure enough, when shown a photo of their spouse the dopamine still flowed through the VT area in their brains like the wine flows in Spain.
This is probably the most accurate description of us, I think that is why Jesse won’t feel like we’ve been married a long time until we hit 20 years. Because our love feels new yet aged. We work hard to keep it that way, to ensure it doesn’t go stagnant, or “companionate” as it were.
I’m in love and plan on being so for many years to come.
